in-sheepsclothing asks: 

I'm not defending Ismay, but some sources say that prior to climbing into one of the remaining lifeboats, he herded women and children into others alongside Lightoller and Murdoch.            

I think that Ismay was very human in that moment - human meaning that he was terrified and took an out when he could see one. I’ve always been sure that he did help women and children into the boats.

The knowledge and assumptions of his time definitely worked against him, as they worked against Captain Smith. I think what it comes down to is people look at all the others who stayed on the ship and went down with it, and then at him, and find him lacking.